Category Archives: Conflict Management

Conflict Management, Fighting Back

Wes Rocki

20160123rocki

If I could draw I think I would write the HOA book as a series of cartoons because that’s how my mind tends to work.  Many of those cartoons would be funny, others not so funny.  But over the years never has there been a sumo wrestler in any of my imagined doodles or cartoons – until this interview.  That’s when I started putting sumo wrestlers in the picture .  But a gratuitous, enormous hulking, naked man in what appears to be a diaper, in the middle of a manicured, sterile, characterless, controlled residential association wasn’t quite connecting.  So, I decided to read up on sumo wrestling and sumo wrestlers. And all of a sudden it was a perfect fit, diaper and all.  I discovered, among other things, that although some of these massive men appear to be invincible, they have been toppled by smaller opponents.  A sumo historian is quoted as saying he believes the circular ring was chosen to assist smaller fighters slip away and that the sumo rules tends to root for the underdog.

If you find yourselves in the bullseye of an HOA battle, facing what may seem like a sumo wrestler, grin at the diaper and know that you can win.

Dr. Wes Rocki, MD, PhD joins us On The Commons.  Retired from practicing conventional medicine, Wes now focusses on alternative medicine, including techniques on self help and self healing.  He explains how we can empower ourselves to better handle any conflict.  We talk about how we can step away, mentally and emotionally to get a better grasp of the situation.  Wes gives us a lot of really good advice on how to not only survive being at the center of an HOA storm but how to survive emotionally, reframe the conflict, empower ourselves and win against that massive sumo wrestler in the ring with us.  So many light bulbs went off during the course of this interview.  Listen and be empowered.

Conflict Management is a necessary skill to have in these times. For further reading on Conflict Management, and possibly a different perspective, here is a link to a book available on Amazon.

Conflict Management

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Listen to Wes Rocki

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Assessments, Condominium, Conflict Management

Shelly and Mike Marshall

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Shelly Marshall

For years the bulk of information about this relatively new experiment in housing has come from the industry that has created it and gains from it.  The sales pitch generally describes the concept of condominiums, homeowner associations and cooperatives in glowing terms, promising the owners an easy life where all their problems will be taken care of for them.  Housing consumers are assured they will have greater control over their immediate environment, that this  is “democracy up close and personal”, it is carefree living at its best, owners will have access to amenities that are beyond the financial reach of most Americans and of course the promise of protected and enhanced property values.  We’ve all heard these promises and all know that nothing can be further from the truth.

But finally the tables are starting to turn. Academics, attorneys, psychologists, advocates and medical professionals are speaking out.  And finally the truth about the effects of HOAs is being uncovered.

Dr. Michael Marshall and Shelly Marshall join us On The Commons.  Mike is a professor of psychology, a researcher and a clinical psychologist.  Shelly is an author, a recovery therapist, a keynote speaker and a book publisher.  In addition to all they do, this brother and sister, along with Deborah Goonan, wrote an amazing paper called  “HOA power relationship, problem –  solving, and communication patterns during a major building renovation construction crisis. ”   Click here to read: HOA power relationship, problem-solving, and communication patterns during a major building renovation construction crisis

We’ll talk to Mike and Shelly about their case study, a crisis in a condo association on the gulf coast.  In this case the condo owners were faced with massive renovations.  The condo owners were facing having to get a loan in excess of 10 million dollars to make the repairs.  Naturally the owners would be required to repay the loan.  We’ll learn how the association communicated the problem to the owners and how the owners reacted.  While we have seen many similar cases, they have all focused on the structural issues, and often when discussed by the HOA industry the blame has been put squarely on the shoulders of the owners.  What is refreshingly enlightening about this paper is that the authors study the situation more from an interpersonal and normal communication perspective.  Really happy to note that this dynamic trio are busy working on their next paper.  It is high time to get the real story out.

Listen to Shelly and Mike Marshall
Mike Marshall

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Conflict Management, Empowerment

Wes Rocki

20160123rocki

If I could draw I think I would write the HOA book as a series of cartoons because that’s how my mind tends to work.  Many of those cartoons would be funny, others not so funny.  But over the years never has there been a sumo wrestler in any of my imagined doodles or cartoons – until this interview.  That’s when I started putting sumo wrestlers in the picture .  But a gratuitous, enormous hulking, naked man in what appears to be a diaper, in the middle of a manicured, sterile, characterless, controlled residential association wasn’t quite connecting.  So, I decided to read up on sumo wrestling and sumo wrestlers. And all of a sudden it was a perfect fit, diaper and all.  I discovered, among other things, that although some of these massive men appear to be invincible, they have been toppled by smaller opponents.  A sumo historian is quoted as saying he believes the circular ring was chosen to assist smaller fighters slip away and that the sumo rules tends to root for the underdog.

If you find yourselves in the bullseye of an HOA battle, facing what may seem like a sumo wrestler, grin at the diaper and know that you can win.

Dr. Wes Rocki, MD, PhD joins us On The Commons.  Retired from practicing conventional medicine, Wes now focusses on alternative medicine, including techniques on self help and self healing.  He explains how we can empower ourselves to better handle any conflict.  We talk about how we can step away, mentally and emotionally to get a better grasp of the situation.  Wes gives us a lot of really good advice on how to not only survive being at the center of an HOA storm but how to survive emotionally, reframe the conflict, empower ourselves and win against that massive sumo wrestler in the ring with us.  So many light bulbs went off during the course of this interview.  Listen and be empowered.

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